Always


troldemort:

theamericankid:

Am I the only one that just realized that…

oh god 

oms.





How dare you steal that car!

(Source: mirand-ah)


  • mom: let me see your blog.
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: *throws computer out of window*
  • me: what blog?
Via Wow Funniest Posts

happy birthday Maggie smith :)




Relationship Therapy with Tom and Bella

  • Therapist: So Tom, why don't you start us off today on something positive the two of you did together this week.
  • Tom: How about no.
  • Therapist: Why?
  • Tom: It was a pretty bad week.
  • Bella: Yup, pretty bad.
  • Therapist: Why is that?
  • Tom: The Potter boy killed me.
  • Bella: And that Weasley bitch killed me, too.
  • Therapist: Okay, how about something the two of you did together?
  • Tom: We stormed Hogwarts.
  • Bella: Yeah, that part was pretty good.
  • Therapist: "Pretty"? Bella, I'm sensing some disappointment on your behalf here.
  • Bella: Well Tom kind of pushed me when I was helping him up after he killed Harry Potter.
  • Tom: I didn't "push" you, I didn't need your help.
  • Bella: You fell down! You could have broken something!
  • Tom: Which wouldn't matter, since I'm fucking immortal! And what have you done recently, huh? You got any horcruxes? Oh, no? So what's the score then...7-0? Am I counting that right, bitch?
  • Therapist: Okay, let's step back now...Bella, is there anything specific about Tom that
  • bothered you this week?
  • Bella: Well he does this thing where whenever he's upset he'll kill the nearest person, and that's kind of annoying.
  • Tom: Annoying? Annoying?! I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound OF MY SEVEN HORCRUXES.
  • Bella: Watch, he's probably going to kill someone soon.
  • Tom: Oh my fucking god Bella, is that really what you think of me? That I'll just kill anyone when I'm mad?
  • Intern: Your coffee, sir.
  • Tom: Thanks, but I ASKED FOR FUCKING TEA YOU FILTHY MUDBLOOD! AVADA KEDAVRA!
  • Intern dies.
  • Tom: Now, where were we?
  • Therapist: I'm done.
Via Slytherincredible



All the little boy was going to ask Santa for was his father to come back from Iraq. Little did he know, his wish would come true and his father was right behind Santa.

AWWWWW

(Source: leave-a-message-at-the-tone)












Explaining ships to my dad.

  • Dad: What's a ship name?
  • Me: It's where you take two people's names when they're dating and smash them together.
  • Brain: Like Drarry
  • Dad: Like what?
  • Brain: Drarry
  • Me: Erm...Brangelina? Brad and Angelina
  • Brain: Drarry
  • Me: Ron and Hermione is Romione...
  • Brain: DRARRY
  • Me: Erm, uh, Tony and Ziva is Tiva-
  • Brain: AND HARRY AND DRACO IS DRARRY
  • Me: Harry and Ginny is Hinny...
  • Dad: Oh, okay. So a "ship" is a relationship? What's your favorite ship?
  • Brain: DRARRRYYYYY
  • Me: Um...I don't really have one. I like Klaine from Glee. They're cute.
  • Dad: Kurt and Blaine?
  • Brain: AND DRACO AND HARRY.
  • Me: Yeah...
  • Dad: Oh. Kay
  • Brain: TELL HIM ABOUT DRARRY
Via Got my spaceship, got my boys.
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